Every birth story is unique and well, Callie’s is of no
exception. It all started a few days prior to Callie’s actual birth date. I
began noticing that her daily movements were slowly decreasing; a sign that
baby girl was conserving energy for her upcoming big day. During those few days
I also noticed an increase in Braxton Hicks contraction, a burst of energy as
well as an up in my appetite. With all these changes I knew that labor day was
right around the corner. But exactly when was the question.
Would you have asked me what day I assumed baby girl would
arrive, I would have told you January 13th, aka her due date. My
first daughter was born on her due date, January 11th, so I thought
Callie would be just like her sister: exactly on time. But she had other plans.
It was Amerie’s birthday weekend. She was turning 8
years-old and was feeling a bit blue because we had to skip her birthday party
plans in anticipation for her baby sister’s arrival. She was threatening to be
mad should her sister arrive on her birth date, leaving the pressure on me to
hold out until the 13th. Unfortunately, that didn’t happen.
On Sunday, January 11th, I woke up at 8:30am from
some much needed rest. My husband had offered to take the 6:00am puppy shift
leaving me with the flexibility to sleep in for as long as I felt I needed. I
had gotten a well night’s rest despite the back cramps that woke me up a few
times that night. I thought nothing of them considering I had been suffering
from the same back cramps for the past few nights. I proceeded to complete my
morning routine of freshening up and getting dressed when IT hit me - was that
a contraction? It definitely wasn’t a Braxton Hicks and it actually HURT.
Instead of the tightening I normally felt directly in the center of my tummy, I
felt little tightening and more of a mild pain radiating from my lower abdomen
to my lower back.
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| My Birthday Girls |
I finished getting ready and headed downstairs to see my
family. I wished my daughter a happy birthday, then another contraction hit. I
paused, breathing through it as I had learned from my home hypnobirthing CD.
When the wave was over I looked at my husband and said, “I think this is it”.
We both smiled, excited that the day had finally arrived, when, as usual, he
cracks a joke, “Aww Amerie mommy is having your baby sister on your birthday!
That is just wrong!”. Thanks. Way to
make me feel guilty. Five minutes later another wave hit and my husband finally
realized that I was serious.
As my husband began cleaning the house, I started tracking
my contractions. They were very inconsistent, averaging around 5 minutes apart
and 30 seconds to 1 minute long. Since
the pain was manageable, I decided to get the one thing I desperately needed to
get done that day: grocery shopping.
I’d like to note that
at this point I was in early labor as pointed out by my husband due to my happy
mood. I was laughing and very much able to work through each contraction. That
natural birthing class taught him well.
Before we left, I notified my midwife of the current
situation. While she was willing to head towards my house right there and then,
I told her to hold off since I wasn’t 100% sure whether or not this was the
real deal. Having not been in labor before, I wasn’t sure what to expect and I
didn’t want to inconvenience my birthing team should my labor be false, or
worse, slow.
We arrived at the store and as I shopped my husband
continued to track my contractions. Throughout our trip, the pain started
getting more intense, with some waves more intense than others. These surges required
me to stop, focus and breath. Unfortunately, the distraction led to an
incomplete shopping trip. I completely forgot to pick up food for my birthing
team and missed out on some much needed pantry essentials. At least I got it
done because I was finally able to rest, relax and focus.
Once groceries were put away, I got dressed into my oh so
comfy home dress my mom brought home from the Philippines and attempted to take
a nap. My contractions were still 4-5 minutes apart on average and still 30 seconds
to 1 minute in length. The pain was getting stronger, but it was still
manageable. As I laid down to rest I noticed the waves fading, with the interval
time increasing to 7-10 minutes apart. I panicked thinking that I had halted
labor, but at the same time I was grateful for the ability to rest. After about
30 minutes I decided to get back up. I was feeling restless and felt the need
to move upstairs where I would be laboring and delivering.
Before settling upstairs, I headed to the restroom to find
brown discharge in my undies (sorry, TMI!?).
In the past, brown discharge signaled something was wrong so naturally I
freaked out. I texted my midwife who reassured me that everything was normal.
Apparently the stretching of the cervix can cause capillaries to rupture
resulting in some light bleeding. Mid text I was still on the royal throne when
during a contraction I passed what looked like an odd colored blood clot. My
midwife told me it must have been mucus plug. Not sure why, but I totally
assumed it would be clear, hence the reason why it’s called a bloody show.
Dope. Passing my mucus plug meant progress! It also meant things were about to
get serious.
I settled upstairs next to my birthing pool. I had a blanket
to keep me warm, a rice sock for comfort, oils for strength and relaxation, my
yoga ball to lean on and my phone on the charger, playing my hypnobirthing CD.
My wonderful neighbor had just taken Amerie for a fun day with her friends,
leaving me with peace and quiet. My husband had also settled with me upstairs,
watching football as he provided me with whatever support I needed.
At around 2:00pm, active labor hit. My contractions were 3
minutes apart and 45 seconds to over 1 minute in length. The beginning, peak
and end of each wave was more distinct and with each surge I had to stop, focus
and really breath. The pain was strong, yet bearable, yet enough to destroy my
appetite and induce nausea and mild vomiting. I felt most of it in my lower
abdomen and some in my lower back. It felt like a super strong menstrual cramp
combined with a little burn – no doubt a result of my hips opening up. I tried
several different coping methods but nothing worked. The heated rice sock made
the pain worse; the oils I gave up on quickly; movement was uncomfortable; and
counter pressure/massaging did little for me. What did work was visualization.
When I felt a surge coming on I would immediately pause,
close my eyes, place my hands near my abdomen and visualize numbing light waves
radiating from my hands into my abdomen and around my back (yes, Piper was my favorite Charmed character! Ha!). While chanting the
word “numb”, this numbing light would continue to circulate until the wave
faded away. While it didn’t completely
stop the discomfort, it did provide me a few seconds of pain free bliss. Like a
break in the midst of a storm. It was nice and it gave me something to
concentrate on. Sadly, this didn’t last for too long. As soon as things
progressed, my focused shifted to breathing through the pain and less on trying
to numb it.
At a little before 3:00pm, I texted my midwife to provide
her an update on my progress. After chatting a bit about how I felt things were
moving along, she offered to head my way to hang out, palpate the baby’s
position and check me vaginally IF I so desired to know how much I had dilated.
Although I was hesitant to say yes, thinking things were still moving slowly,
my husband pushed me to agree. Having her nearby would put both of our minds at
ease knowing she’s there should things speed up. Plus, honestly I wanted to
know baby’s position. I wanted to be mentally prepared to push out a breeched
baby if she shifted.
While waiting for my midwife to arrive, things slowly
progressed. My contractions were getting closer together, being 3 minutes apart
on average and 1 minute in length. The nausea worsened and unfortunately, I was
throwing up. I attempted to stay hydrated and nibbled on crackers when I could.
It helped. Sort of.
At a little before 5:00pm, my midwife arrived followed by my
doula. At this point my spirits were still high. I was feeling a bit tired but
I was still happy and smiling. I was super excited to see them both as it
meant, for me anyways, that I would soon be seeing this baby. It was also nice
to have additional support for both my husband and I. My midwife visited me
briefly to check on how I was doing and then proceeded to put a plan of action
into place. In about an hour she would palpate baby’s position and check me
vaginally to see how far I was dilated and go from there. She figured with my
team there now, my labor will no doubt progress and boy did it! That was one
very long hour! The contractions picked up and were getting harder to manage.
The pain had moved more towards my hips and felt more like a burning sensation
than a cramp. My husband offered to squeeze my hips but I found little relief
with the counter pressure. Not sure why nothing worked. I realized later that
the way I cope with pain is staying still and focusing. Weird.
Sometime around 6:00pm my midwife checked the baby’s
position as well my cervix for dilation. Baby was head down (wohoo!!!!) and I
was 9 centimeters dilated!! I couldn’t believe it! I was further along than I
thought! I was in transitional labor! My cervix was stretchy and things were
progressing beautifully. Hearing that I was so close gave me a boost of
confidence and energy. If I’ve made it this far, then I can totally finish.
With me being so close, my midwife and doula suggested my
husband get the pool ready. During the hour it took to fill up the pool, my
doula continued to provide me with physical and verbal support with each wave.
When my face was tense, she told me to relax it. When I started breathing
heavily, she slowed my breath down. The support helped me to mentally sink
deeper into my body and work with it versus against it. It’s amazing how much
easier it is to get through each contraction when you relax, surrender and
allow your body to do its thing. At this
point I was exhausted; so much so that I would doze off or sleep in between
contractions to conserve the little bit of energy I had left. I was feeling
drowsy and oddly cold.
After about an hour, the pool was ready. In between surges,
my husband helped me into the pool. He asked me if I wanted my bathing suit
top, but without a word, I stripped my dress off and headed towards the pool. I
can hear him laugh and say, “okay then. I guess you’re going in naked”. This
made me chuckle. Modesty really does go out the window when you’re in hard
labor. I mean what’s a pair of boobs!? Might as well be comfortable right? As
soon as I stepped in I felt immediate relief! The warm water provided just
enough support to take off some of the pressure from the baby and the
contractions.
Within minutes of getting into the pool the contractions
started picking up. The peak of each wave was so intense that it took
everything in me to make it through, including some low moaning. My hips were burning and baby girl was consistently
moving which, can I say, was way worse than the burning hips. I could feel
every single little wiggle and kick and it tickled every sensitive nerve. If
there was a moment I felt like Ripley from Aliens, it was when Callie was
moving in my stomach during a contraction. Cringe. It was during this phase
when I needed and used the most support from my husband and birthing team.
I was in transitional labor, moving to the pushing stage,
and at my wits end. I started freaking out, thinking that I couldn’t do
anymore. At some point I even stated that having a home birth was a horrible
idea. (Sorry!) Multiple times I told my husband that I couldn’t do it anymore
because I had no energy left and the pain seemed almost unbearable. Of course,
thanks to the class, his response was a reminder that the moment I felt like
that, it meant it was almost time to push. He held my hands through each
contraction and helped me regulate my breathing during times when I would freak
out and work against the surge. My birthing team reminded me often to keep my
face relaxed and breathed with me as well. They helped me stay focus. I needed
them and they were there for me. Without them I could have easily lost it. Besides
mental support, they also helped me stay hydrated and cool since I was finally
getting heated due to the warm water and the increase in physical work.
I don’t recall much of what was happening around me. I was
so drained, drowsy and in the zone that my surroundings barely existed. I do
recall our midwife in training arriving just in time and someone stating that
it was 7 something in the evening.
After several minutes of seriously intense contractions, I
started to feel the pressure to push at the peak of each wave. At first I
thought it was me wanting to push but I quickly realized it was my body doing
the pushing. I found it pretty cool how
distinct the beginning, peak and end of each wave felt. At the start of a
contraction, I could feel the pain creeping up. It was my signal to prepare and
start breathing. After several seconds of creeping pain, it would peak and my
body would start pushing. After 3-4 pushes, the pressure and discomfort would
dissipate and I would dwell in the moment of pain free bliss. Oh how much I
appreciated each break, even if it was for only a minute! Pushing was the best
part of labor. It felt so good to finally work WITH my surges instead of just
THROUGH them.
In between a set of surges, my midwife checked for progress
and could feel my baby’s head still surrounded by a bubble of amniotic fluid.
Yep, baby was still in her sac! Of course, I wanted to feel and so I did. It
was the most incredible thing to feel my baby’s head still surrounded by her
temporary home. It was in that moment that I thanked God for our little miracle
and praised him for his creativity. When you look at the stars or feel a baby’s
head in sac you can’t help but think about how ingenious God truly is. Still
feeling baby in sac had my birthing team pretty excited, hoping that maybe,
just maybe baby would be born en cal. It would be a pretty cool thing to see!
So fingers crossed we did.
After several minutes of pushing, little progress was made.
My water had yet to break and I could still feel baby’s head about an inch or
so in. I had been in the same kneeling position since I had gotten into the
pool so it was time to move around. My midwife asked me to lift one leg up and
keep it there during my next contraction. I knew doing so would not only open
my hips to allow baby to move down but I also knew it would hurt like hell.
Even though I didn’t want to move, an opinion I clearly voiced to my midwife
(haha!), I did it anyways knowing it would help. And it did…hurt worse, but
that just meant it was doing something. Of course, seeing progression
encouraged my midwife to suggest more movement and additional position changes.
During the next few contractions I moved from kneeling on my
left leg, with my right leg up to kneeling on my right, with my left up to
squatting while leaning back on my husband. I ended up staying in the back lean
for the remainder of my delivery as things seemed to quickly progress in that
position. With each surge I breathed my baby down as my body gently pushed.
Soon I felt my baby’s head slowly beginning to emerge.
Despite what I learned in class the crowning phase did not
last through only one contraction. For multiple contractions, baby’s head would
slowly crown, and then retract with each rest. I really thought each and
everytime that I would push that sucker fully out, but I was greeted with
disappointment each time the surge would end. It was then I actually wished the
contractions would last longer so I could push her out faster. Of course, my
midwife reminded me slow and steady meant less chance of damage or tear, which
now I’m thankful for. After a few peek-a-book surges, it was finally time to
push baby girl all the way out
Right before I delivered, I was pushing through a surge when
I felt an odd pop. I exclaimed to my birthing team that I felt a pop and was
sure my water just broke. My midwife was a bit surprised and a bit doubtful
that my water had broke considering that she didn’t see anything when it
happened. Of course, it didn’t matter because it was then when I could really
feel the pressure of baby’s head coming down.
It took two contractions to push baby girl out. With the
first contraction, I pushed her head half-way out before my wave ended. Yes, I
rested with half a baby’s head out. The pressure was intense, the ring of fire
“pain”, not so much. I can no doubt thank the water for the lack of fire.
Naturally, I panicked a bit due to the pressure, asking my midwife what to do.
She calmly told me to wait and, in the meantime, distracted me by showing me
via the mirror my baby’s head. She encouraged me to touch my baby’s sweet head
but unfortunately I was holding myself up and felt too weak to move. I was
afraid if I moved, my butt would plop right onto the floor of the pool and
squish my poor baby’s noggin. So I watched and waited.
Seeing her precious little head brought on this weird wave
of energy and awareness. Instead of feeling tired and in the zone, I
automatically “woke up”, excited and ready to push.
With the next contraction, I pushed with all my might and
her head finally came out! Oh the relief! Her head emerged mid-surge so
naturally my body was still pushing. I told my midwife I still needed to push,
so with a little wiggle help from my midwife, I used the last bit of energy
from the end of my surge and pushed her little body out. My midwife caught her
and called for my husband to grab her as he had planned. Unfortunately, the man
was in such a daze that it took her a few calls of his name to finally get his
attention. Once he realized what was going on, he reached down, grabbed baby
Callie out of the water and placed her on my chest. Immediately she cried and
so did I.
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| This is the only photo I have. My plans to take pics went out the window. |
Later on I learned
that baby girl’s head was pointing straight down towards the floor of the pool
hence the reason for my midwife’s assistance. The wiggle was to help get baby
girl unstuck. After a brief discussion over Callie's ultrasounds we noticed she always had a hand near her face. My midwife stated that Callie most likely had her hand under her chin, therefore explaining why it took longer
than expected to push her out and also why my midwife felt the need to do a
little shimmy during my final push. When she wiggled her I could definitely feel as if something was
being unstuck or pulled. No doubt she was trying to emerge head and hand first.
In that moment a flood of emotions hit me: relief,
excitement, euphoria, love, empowerment. I did it. I really did it! Baby girl
was finally here, her tiny little naked body nuzzled in my arms. I couldn’t
believe it. I cried, proud of my accomplishment, of the work I did and the
reward that followed. I sat there in a new zone, completely smitten by my
beautiful, miracle baby. That was until I realized I hadn’t checked the sex
yet. I opened my baby’s little legs and sure enough it was a girl! Whew! I
could finally wash everything!
As I sat there, cuddling my new baby, my midwife and
birthing team started prepping to move me from pool to bed. As my doula
recorded some info about my recent delivery, I heard her mention the timing of
Callie’s birth at 9:24pm. I looked at her shocked that it was past 9:00pm! I
couldn’t believe that I had been in the pool for at over two hours, pushing for
at least an hour. I honestly thought I had been in there for a shorter amount
of time. It’s amazing how time becomes non-existent during those last couple of
hours of labor.
In the meantime my husband had decided to FaceTime my family
of six to tell them the good news and to show off baby Callie who was still in
the pool with me, as butt naked as I was. Thankfully I was too exhausted and
too infatuated to realize what he was doing. If I was all there I’m sure her
would have gotten fussed at for exposing me!
At the same time though, I’m sure I would have laughed as I fell in love
with his excitement. There’s nothing more sweet than to see your husband’s eyes
light up over the birth of his new baby. That night I fell in love with him all
over again.
Disclaimer: before I proceed I have to warn that things do
get a bit gory. While natural, some may find the following events hard to
stomach. Fair warning.
After a few moments of cuddling, it was time to move me from
pool to bed. My entire team helped me as I stood up and stepped out of the pool
with my still attached to the cord baby in hand. Things were going great, so it
was quite a shock to see, as soon as I stood up, a huge gush of blood hit the
floor. Everyone jumped in surprise then immediately got right into action,
swiftly moving me to the bed so I could lie down and stop the increase of the giant
mess I was causing. I was embarrassed, of course, but not surprised. The same thing
happened to me when I delivered my first daughter in the hospital and I was
given pitocin to help.
Once I was on the bed, my birthing team got into action. While
my husband and student midwife jumped right in to cleaning, my midwife and
doula focused on me. Since my iron was running low during my pregnancy, the massive
amount of blood loss was a bit of concern for my midwife since it could lead to
hemorrhaging. Even after the delivery of the placenta, the bleeding continued.
Being proactive, my midwife instructed to give me a dose of shepherds purse
tincture as well as a piece of fresh placenta to hold in between my cheek and
teeth to prevent hemorrhaging while my doula started tracking my vitals every
10 minutes or so to make sure everything remained stable. I was also asked to
drink as much coconut water as I possibly could and to eat some food even
though I had no desire to do either. Things were looking a bit shaky at first,
but after an hour or so, my bleeding slowed down and my vitals leveled out. The
power of the placenta!
During this time, my midwife allowed my husband to cut the
cord which was still attached to my baby and placenta. During my pre-natal
visits, she suggested, and I agreed, that we would wait until the placenta was
delivered and until the cord turned white and stopped pulsating, to cut it. This
would ensure that my baby received all of the nutrient, stem cell dense blood
from her cord and placenta. After they were detached, Callie’s little nub was
sealed while my placenta was given to my doula to encapsulate.
She also checked my vagina for any tears, which,
unfortunately, I did have one. Surprisingly, it wasn’t at the same site where I
was given an episiotomy during my delivery with Amerie. Instead it was at an
angle. My midwife concluded that Callie indeed emerged hand and head first. What
I felt being unstuck during my delivery was most likely her little arm or
elbow, thus resulting in the tear. Thankfully it wasn’t too bad to need
stitches!
With a sigh of relief that everything was finally looking
positive for me, my midwife and doula proceeded to care for my newborn who was
currently latched on and nursing beautifully. My husband weighed her in at
6lbs, 15 ounces and she measured at 21.5 inches long – a huge difference from my
8lb first born. They also checked her body as well as her reflexes to make sure
everything looked normal. Of course, she passed. She was perfect!
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| My midwife and husband weighing baby Callie |
After a few snuggles, my birthing team closed up shop and
headed out around 12:30am. If my body didn’t make such a spectacle, they
probably would have made it out sooner - something I feel so bad about,
especially since they never got a chance to really eat anything due to my lack
of awareness. However, I have to believe that everything happens for a reason;
even if it results in me being completely embarrassed! The important thing
though, was that baby and I were aye okay.
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| Say hello to baby Callie |
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| My squishy little baby not even a day old! |
Beth
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